Dec 28, 2010

Fake Reality

The world as we know it today has a tendency to make people wish to reach some standards of perfection. It is a very interesting question who is establishing those standards, but today we want to discuss a different thing: obsession to be perfect.
  Most people are eager to follow the model accepted in today's society by any means that blurs the borders between fake and real. We are here to keep you on track and check on your ability to identify the 'fake reality'. Please welcome our top positions from the fake list of today - BDB: Breasts - Diamonds - Blondes.




Breasts

BANI: Fake breast are easy to detect. At least, I believe I can! Well...every girl with natural ones believes so... Anyhow, step by step guide is here.

DANI: To understand whether breasts are real or not I know only one way: GRAB them! If they are real it feels... like at home, but If it feels like going out…get the fuck OUT of my bed! Point. No more no less.

Diamonds
BANIGirls, if you ever want to receive one soon, you have to make it easy for your guy. Simply do the math for his already 'packed' mind and count how much he needs to save every month to give you one in X amount of time. What's important is to make it part of the plan...HIS plan, of course. Once its on the map, he will be sure that its something HE decided to do. And this is just the beginning!
WARNING! Watch this to not be fooled by artificial diamonds ...or may be not fooled: it is for you to decide what is the 'meaning' of the diamond. Mmmm...3 synthetic or 1 natural?

DANI: Stupid diamonds! Every time Bani starts crying about this stone I mentally compare it to a trip to Bali for 1 month or a racing scooter or...damn! let's be open here..few thousand dollars! Come on! Be reasonable! It is just a shiny toy for you, but financial monster for me.

Blondes
BANI: I call them 'whores' ... with love though (I used to be one myself), no offense. Now, I prefer to be natural - more classy, more sophisticated, and my hair is way softer and shinier. The only thing that bothers me is Dani's anxious look towards some passing blonde that I guess reminds him of the past, his lovely but miserable past that is still on his mind. I hate this moment, and feel like dyeing my hair again, but something stops me... perhaps, it is the feeling when every man looks at you with a smirk on his face: up and down, up and down... I just got tired of that and am proud of not being blonde any more! 

DANI: Blondes, I love you sincerely even though Bani hates me for that. I would follow you in metro, on the streets, in the halls replacing my initial destination by the bleach blond dream. And honestly, girls, please, save me from this kind of conversations: 'Oh! Oh!  Don't you see, she bleached her hair? Don't you see! Look, look!' 
I don't care! Why? Because all other guys will be jealous about me having a blonde. The explanation is somewhere there...in genes.  

Martina Topley Bird



BANI: Recently have discovered a wonderful artist - Martina Topley Bird. After learning the lyrics by heart 'Baby blue, I don't know what to do, when you call to me….' from her last album 'Some place simple', I finally managed to get tickets to her concert in Paris.

Love, love, love the simplicity and her divine voice with a naughty touch… Amazing necklace out of feathers (I wonder who is the designer?) and beautiful silver mask painted on her face. Martina rocked! 

DANI: No surprise, Bani bought us tickets for the artist I have never heard about before. With a little dispute on our way over how to use the iPhone Google maps (or 'Bani has an intuition which works better') and why we are always late because of me (pff….girls!) we came with a 40 minutes delay just at the end of the first part.

Failing an attempt to find any available place at the concert hall we found ourselves just in front of the stage: little Bani laying on the subwoofer to make 'best photo ever' and me, reflecting on what is more powerful: my ears membranes or the very same subwoofer.

All and all, it went very well. French crowd even went 'nuts' in the end and…well…started to clap in synch with the drums. I guess it was the most colorful expression of their orgasm caused by the music. During the performance it was no more than head nodding and feet stepping. Oh my wild French fans, Martina rocked you indeed! Listen to Martina Topley Bird on Deezer.